The Spiritual Strength of Sacramental Marriage

INTRO

Good morning!

You might know that the Sunday readings follow a three year Liturgical cycle A, B, and C. This year we are in Cycle B, and today on the 21th Sunday in Ordinary Time we get the famous verse in Ephesian 5 that no-one likes. “ … wives should be subordinate to their husbands in everything.” It is a nightmare for the lector! It makes wives uncomfortable, as well as husbands and everyone else.

Once we get past this verse, St. Paul in this letter to the Ephesians shows to us a marvelous Truth about marriage, and in particular about Sacramental Marriage.

And so, today I will talk about the mystery of Sacramental Marriage as Paul alludes at the end of the passage. Now, I know not everyone here is married, however it is such a foundational  vocation that I think it’s worth talking about. Remember, marriage is the first vocation in the Bible in the book of Genesis, and a wedding was where Jesus chose to perform his first miracle! 

ME

My wife Lorel and I have been married for twenty nine years. While we never had a bad marriage, the first part of our marriage was difficult. We both lived out of the human weakness of being selfish. It often looked like this: “Let me show you how you could be much happier if you just do it like I do.” or “Let me show you how my way is better for all of us?”. Being selfish in marriage is to believe that our way is better than our spouse’s.

Have you fallen into this trap as a couple? We had!

Something special and mysterious happened to us. After a few years of marriage Lorel started to do more things the way I prefer without being asked. With time this sacrificial-act awakened something new in me. I started to yearn to do the same thing for her. Don't get me wrong, it took a lot of time for me to notice it! And it wasn't all perfect, disagreements and disappointments persisted, however we entered a new dynamic and our marriage got to a new height that we had not experienced before.

In the second reading St Paul calls husband and wives to love their spouse sacrificially as Christ did for his believers. 

To love sacrificially is to will the good of our spouse without expecting anything back. To sacrifice the way I prefer to do things, out of love for our spouse. This is hard to do! I believe every couple here has experiential knowledge of how hard it is to love sacrificially our spouse.

It is a mystery why Christ sacrificed his life for us, and it is also a mystery why Lorel and I started to do it for each other.

YOU

In your marriage, have you ever loved your spouse sacrificially?

Have you ever experienced your spouse loving you sacrificially?

GOD

 Saint Paul in the letter talks directly to the heart of the married life of the people of the rich city of Ephesus. In verse 21 he said “Be subordinate to one another out of reverence for Christ.”

When St Paul wrote this letter it was revolutionary to call for a mutual sacrificial love among wife and husband. In that patriarchal culture wives and children had no rights. In this greek - roman culture the head of the family owned the wife and the children as pieces of personal property and had full authority even of life and death. Ephesus was a large, spectacular port city on the Mediterranean sea. It was the Roman capital of Asia and the imperial-cult of the roman gods and patriarchal culture was on full display.

Paul’s revolutionary message was one of the reasons Christianity spread quickly in these roman-aristocratic families in affluent cities like Ephesus. Paul's message of mutual love captured the heart of the wealthy wives, who saw in Christianity a way to protect themselves and their children. The wives were often the first ones to convert to Christianity and with time they evangelized their husbands.

Where did Lorel and I get the idea of sacrificing our way for each other? to submit to one another.  It wasn’t from us! It came through the Holy Spirit awakening in us the inner life of Christ.
And where did we get the strength to do it? It is a mystery - a mystery that springs out of the graces we received in the Sacrament of Marriage. 

So, yes, the Sacrament of Marriage can help us to go beyond what we think is possible. This sacrament gives us graces that are supernatural because they bring about a deep spiritual change in us. How can it be any different?

Christ asks us to promise to love and honor our spouse as long as we shall live - in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. It is impossible to make this promise with only human strength! This is why marriage is a Sacrament - these promises are so hard to maintain that we need supernatural strengths from God. With the Sacrament of Marriage God infuses graces to go beyond our human capacity. It becomes evident in the ability to overcome the storms of married life where graces are found to move beyond disappointments, disagreements, family death, and even adultery.

And so Jesus presents us with a hard choice -  to choose his way of serving each other in our marriage or not. In the face of this hard choice Jesus reminds us that His words are Spirit and Life - his words will help us to love better and flourish as a couple in this life and the next in Heaven. When the spouses serve each other sacrificially they will have a fruitful marriage. If we want life to flourish we have no choice but to follow Jesus' example of sacrificial love as Peter told us in the Gospel “Master to whom shall we go?” 

Also Joshua in the first reading, going against the culture of the time, said - “As for me and my household, we will serve the LORD."

Notice that Joshua and Peter do not make the decision to follow God out of mere obedience; rather it is a choice that comes out of having experienced deeply God’s goodness. 

YOU

Marriage is a fundamental vocation. The flourishing of society does not depend as much on political parties, bishops or popes, as it depends on good marriages - marriages where spouses serve each other.  The Catechism of the Catholic Church calls the family the domestic church because it is founded on that mystery of mutual-sacrificial-love that we experienced from Jesus’s sacrificial love for us. These are the marriages that can transform families and society.

My invitation to you is to follow Jesus’s example in your marriage. In S.Paul’s words: “Be subordinate to one another out of reverence to Christ.”

Loving our spouse sacrificially is the way for a fruitful marriage. Husbands and wives that have a Sacramental Marriage will be able to lean on special graces given by the Sacrament to strengthen them in a deeper way.

Some of you might be unsure if you have a Sacramental marriage. Know that our pastor Fr Juan, the associate pastor Fr Nathan and the eleven deacons are here to help you. 

Did you know that deacons are the only ones that received all the Sacraments! Not even the pope has all the seven sacraments - because the pope is not married. 

Between our priests and the deacons you have a great variety of personalities and charisms. If you need help or have questions go to the one that you are more comfortable with.

WE

In a few minutes we will line up for Communion. Whether you line up to receive Jesus in the Eucharist or a blessing, God will come into your life in a deeper way.

I invite you to notice what is stirring in your heart and mind - maybe a new Truth, a deeper clarity on marriage, maybe a new yearning to love your spouse sacrificially.

Stay in that stirring of the heart. God is talking to you. Take the time to listen to the Lord on what His will is for your marriage. It may be for a marriage that needs healing and reconciliation, a marriage you are preparing for, a discernment for a religious vocation or the single life.

Listen to God’s will for you.

Listen to His will.